Monday, 12 September 2011

Get off my lap!!!

Theres an app on facebook which throws up old status's and today mine said ' I wish I could write a letter to a certain someone and have the courage to post it!'
Last week I saw that 'certain someone,' for the first time in over 6 months. I felt physically sick, wanted to punch her in the face (not me at all!!), all the hurt and pain she had caused to others was once again brought to the surface.  I carried on as normal, went grocery shopping and whilst browsing the shelves realised I was once again looking at the calorie values on packets!!!  The way I was feeling was showing in ways it shouldn't.
When I went to support group this week we discussed how the actions of others can affect the way you are feeling and how that in turn can move onto behaviours with food.  The need to be in control when you cannot control your emotions/feelings.
The group leader told us a story of how she would 'brush' others from her body, in a sense telling them to get off her lap...
So, this is my letter and I hope one day you may read it and know its especially for you!

I regret the day I met you, the day I befriended you, accepted you for who you were no questions asked.
I introduced you to my friends, chatted late at night over your troubles, trusted you....
How could I have known you had an ulterior motive, a hidden agenda.
You left a path of destruction wherever you went, you lied, you manipulated, you would tread on anyone who got in your way, in way of what you wanted. At the time I was at my lowest point and you knew that.  You lied about me and to me, accused me of paranoia and jealousy and at that time I was ready to give in to you but those close to me were worth more than that.
You hurt people, you damaged friendships, relationships.....but we were stronger than you.
I lost my faith and trust in people for a while but I'm getting back........so for the last time, GET OFF MY FUCKING LAP!!!!