My relationship with food has changed dramatically as has the relationship with myself.
I feel proud with what I have achieved both emotionally and in my every day life.
I no longer take any medication, except for osteoporosis. It was a difficult time withdrawing from the Anti-depressants, periods of sadness, anxiety and physical symptoms. At the time all of these were easy to use as an excuse for not eating, and yes on occasions this happened, but I stayed positive, focused on how far I had come and challenged my thoughts and motives.
I do not know how much I weigh and am OK with that. I may grumble about my stomach on occasions but generally I like my body....and I like even more whats inside it. My husband like it even more :)
I have learned a lot over this period in my life..
- being thinner does not make me a better person.
- An eating disorder will initially make things seem better but in the long run it affects your way of thinking and ultimately lies to you.
- regular eating WILL stop you bingeing.
- Relapse does not mean failure.
- Giving up is not an option.
- Asking for help does not make you weak.
- friends and family will be there for you but there is a limit to how much they can take...they are hurting too.
- Life is too precious to mess up.